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1. Out of work, especially involuntarily; jobless.

2. Not being used; idle.

n. (used with a pl. verb)

People who are involuntarily out of work considered as a group. Used with the.

I know, I know, like I'm the first one to use this format. Well kiss my ass, I have more important things to worry about right now.

Becoming a member of the above-mentioned assemblage, for instance.

Here's a little story:

So my boss comes to me this morning right before a production conference and tells me that the CEO of our company (who is like, Alzheimer's old and just as with it) instructed him yesterday to shut down my department (of which I am the head) and fire me.

Thanks Greg*, that's ever so comforting and really makes me want to pay attention to the farking conference. However, I will say this--there's good news (which works in Greg's favor) and there's bad news.

The good news is, he didn't fire me, nor shut down my department. The bad news is that I'm on such thin ice, I've flattened myself onto two two-by-fours (for those warm-climated amongst you, if you're ever crossing thin or suspect ice, it's the best way to distribute your weight) and I can STILL hear the ice cracking beneathe me.

Now that I'm sitting there in shock and terror, he tells me "but I think you're doing a great job!" Which is ever-so confidence-inspiring considering the news he'd delivered two minutes previously.

Let me explain why this seemed (to him) to be a logical follow-up response. (And also why if you're reading this, you should hire me. (Really! This deal won't last forever! Hire now! Hire often!))

The reason the CEO wants to can my department is because one title (out of hundreds) that was new 3 years ago (I started here 1 year ago) didn't sell well.

In the movie business.

A movie that didn't sell in the movie business.

Shocking, I know.

In any event, I decided to hell with work today and I took an extra long lunch and am now playing around on the internet.

I've also got the door to my office closed, am listening to really sad music, and am crying kind of.

I'll be okay, though. I promised myself that I'd have this town with some fava beans and a nice chianti. I also told a lot of other people that I'd have this town with some fava beans and a nice chianti, so even if I don't, I have to at least pretend I am.

*-Names were changed to protect the people could squash my nuts into oblivion.**

**-If I had nuts. "You won't find many people at their bosses grave who aren't dancing on it."--Mulder