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Height: 6'1"

Weight: Not to shabby.

Fitness Factor: High.

Physical Abilities:

-Can spike volleyball so that it compacts to 3/4 it's original size upon impact with the ground.

-Can easily throw from second base to home.

-Can play an entire game of 5 on 5 full-court basketball (yet winded at the game's conclusion).

-Can jog a mile easily.

-Can bench press 100 lbs easily.

-Can leg press 230 lbs. easily.

-Can leg curl 150 lbs. easily.

-Abodomen: Six pack. Okay, four pack.

-Arms: ripped (in an attractive That Girl's Cut! Angela Bassett kind of way, not a nasty Arnold kind of way).

-Legs: Shapely, long, and similarly ripped.

Kasey Circa 2002--

Height: 6'1"

Weight: Shabby. (Though not quite "replace that 's' with a 'c' and that 'a' with a 'u' and what's that spell?!" thankfully.)

Fitness Factor: Compared to self--LOW. Compared to rest of populace--Med.

Physical Abilities:

-Afraid to spike volleyball with the ferociousness of ages past, as is afraid of throwing arm out of socket.

-Can throw from second base to home after at least five minutes of warming up, and then probably only once.

-Can play about 2 minutes of a 5-on-5 full-court basketball game before gesturing to throat, mouthing "asthma" and leaving the court before anyone can see lack of inhaler.

-Can jog a mile only with a gun to the head and lung transplant.

-Can sit on a bench easily.

-Can press legs into coffee table easily.

-Can curl legs up with a good book easily.

-Can drink four beers out of a six pack in one sitting.

-Arms: same size as arms in 1997 however, without the definition, strength, and with that attractive grandmother-under-arm-flab-double-wave.

-Legs: muscle definition gone. Cellulite factor expanded exponentially.

They say that in your 30's, you'll long for the body you had in your 20's.

God help us all.

�I believe that my decision to remain unfit at the age of thirty-four will serve me well in the future, as I never have to endure the hushed observation that I've �really let myself go� � - Janeane Garofalo