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My life right now? Really trying to suck. I mean, it�s not just the little things like almost losing your job, or getting into fights with friends. It�s losing family members and losing pets and losing money and losing your self-confidence.

I realize that�s the way life is. These things happen. But do they have to all happen within the span of one month? What the hell is that? It�s a cosmic insult. A karmic bitch slap.

I�ve spent the last week or so trying to figure out just what the hell is going on around me. What no-so benevolent entity did I manage to piss off?

I studied my past behavior and decided that my karma can�t be all that bad. The feng shui around me is kind of crappy, but I didn�t put a framed picture of myself in the death corner or anything. I considered my lapse of church attendance, but that�s always been kind of flaky, and I can�t be the only one. I mean, at least I GO on Christmas.

I think I�ve got it though.

There�s a chain letter out there somewhere addressed to me that never made it through. Or I possibly threw it away. Similarly, there may be a forward sitting in a hard drive�s recycling bin that I deleted without sending to 653 different people in 4 hours.

My solution is this: If you happen to send me a chain letter or a forward, I will march over there (I don�t care where you are) stuff it down your throat, make you chew it, swallow it, and then apologize to me. THEN, when the next piece of shit crapfest decides to make me Miss Piece of Shit Crapfest, I�m blaming it ALL on YOU.

Then I�m writing a country song about my life.

It will get better, though. It has to.

"I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up DOES rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend."--Red (The Shawshank Redemption)