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Since I've got no job and I have nothing better to do, I've put together my own list of what episodes of the X-Files everyone should watch.

Oh, shut up.

The top five episodes of each season, and why you should watch them:

Season One:

1) Ice -- This episode is hands down my favorite episode of all time. It's got the creep factor, it's well written, and it's just about the most intense hour of television (at least in the XF universe) around.

2)Squeeze -- Eugene Victor Tooms is the ultimate baddie. Not to mention, this is the first XF ep that doesn't deal with the UFO phenomenon.

3) Beyond The Sea -- Scully rocks. That is all.

4) Darkness Falls -- This episode is a nice trip to the forest. With scary bugs and a storyline that was original before the movie of the same name came out. And arguably cute forest rangers!

5) Conduit -- The acting is questionable in this episode, and the part where Scully (the doctor) does CPR on a girl with a pulse is kind of scary, but nevertheless, it's awesome.

Season Two:

1) Little Green Men -- This one has flashbacks, the army green beret, and Mulder's Spanglish. Beautiful.

2) The Host -- Cree. Pee. This may well be considered the best Monster of the Week episode. And not just by me.

3) One Breath -- Another intense episode. Well written, well acted, and, it has Mr. X!

4) Irresistible -- You think monsters are scary? Some regular people are scarier. Donnie Pfaster is one of them.

5) Humbug -- Darin Morgan's first episode. It's funny, it's weird, it's Humbug!

Season Three:

1) Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose -- Another Darin Morgan episode. It's touching, funny, and nabbed Peter Boyle his first Emmy. Brill.

2) The Blessing Way -- One of the only mytharc episodes I picked, this one is great. It's complicated, but well written, and it has Indians!

3) War of the Copraphages -- Another Darin Morgan episode. And another brilliant one. Plus, it has Dude, Stoner and Chick!

4) Pusher -- This episode will have you on the edge of your seat from the word go. Or, the word Cerulean. Cerulean blue, that is. This is a lot of people's favorite episode. Watch it and you'll see why.

5) Jose Chung's 'From Outer Space' -- Perhaps the most convoluted hour of television ever executed this side of that game show that Joey on 'Friends' was auditioning for. Plus, Charles Nelson Reilly.

Season Four:

1) Home -- This episode was banned by the federal government from ever being shown on broadcast primetime TV again. Reason enough to watch it. (And why I've leant the tape to about 30 people.)

2) Unruhe -- This episode ROCKS. And not just because it takes place in Northern Michigan. (Props!) It's got an awesome concept, creepy guest stars, and Scully in jeopardy. Woo!

3) Paper Hearts -- Not only is this one of the best episodes of the series, but Mark Snow's accompanying music is amazing.

4) Leonard Betts -- Dr. Ramano! Get away from Scully! This is the beginning of the cancer arc. And the highest rated episode in the series' history. Totally worth watching.

5) Memento Mori -- This episode will break your heart and make you want to keep a diary.

6) Small Potatoes (I get six because season four is my favorite) -- Darin Morgan and Vince Gilligan, together again for the first time. Not in quite the way you'd expect to see/hear from them, but this episode is awesome. It's also the first and last episode that I got my grandmother to watch, and she still gets freaked out by it.

Season Five:

1) Redux (and Redux II) -- Cancer-arc resolution. Woo! Although, Mulder does eat Scully's hand.

2) Unusual Suspects -- The Lone Gunmen's origins are explained. And it's awesome.

3) Kitsunegari -- The return of Pusher! Linda Bowman! Show yourself!

4) Bad Blood -- This battles it out in my mind (with Ice) as the best episode ever. Totally hilarious.

5) Kill Switch -- Creepy. In a weird, wow-technology-is-kind-of-freaky way. Plus, kung-fu Scully!

Season Six:

1) Triangle -- Is Mulder trippin', or is he in the Wizard of Oz? You decide. Plus, very few edits in this episode, and it's 1930's-tastic.

2) Milagro -- Philip Padgett will steal your heart. Literally.

3) Tithonus -- Clyde Bruckman was right, Scully won't die. Here's why!

4) Monday -- Groundhog Day, X-Files style. And Northern Exposure alumnus. Reason enough to watch.

5) The Unnatural -- David Duchovny wrote and directed this episode. And we were all impressed. (And convinced he's a 'shipper.)

Season Seven:

1) Rush -- Many people don't even remember this episode. But I thought it was well done, and the effects were cool.

2) X-Cops -- The 'X-Files' meets 'Cops' you can't tell me that crossover doesn't intrigue you. It's AWESOME.

3) all things -- Gillian Anderson wrote and directed this one. Weird, but good. And the beginning has perhaps the most debated teaser, ever. Did they? Didn't they? Not even Gillian Anderson knows.

4) Je Souhaite -- A Genie comes to the X-Files set. And it's hilarious.

5) Requiem -- The fact that the players from the show's pilot play a big part in this one is reason enough to watch. The plot twist at the end is another (even if it's a questionable Jump The Shark move).

Season Eight:

(Yes, it's getting more difficult to pick good episodes...)

1) Redrum -- Joe Morton guest stars. And it all happens backwards. Looc.

2) Per Manum -- Flashback-tastic.

3) Vienen -- A big explosion is reason enough to watch. Who doesn't want to see stuff get blown up?

4) Essence -- Part one of the finale of perhaps the season that shouldn't have happened. And at least the season that should have been the last.

5) Existence -- Okay, admit it. You totally loved the ending, and can't remember anything else about the episode.

Season Nine:

(Very difficult now...)

1) Daemonicus -- I'll say that if this one had Mulder and Scully in it instead of Reyes and Doggett, people would have LOVED it. A very dark, creepy episode.

2) Trust No 1 -- You can count on your fingers the number of times Mulder calls Scully Dana. This time takes the cake.

3) John Doe -- My love for Robert Patrick will never die. He rocks the rocks out of this episode.

4) Scary Monsters -- I'd watch this one just for Doggett's dialogue.

5) William -- A really well directed episode. And a surprise Mulder appearance. And the two go hand in hand.

And, that's all she wrote. Watch these, and don't try to think about the mytharc of the show. It'll just get confusing and your head will explode.

"Sir, the ... meteor... seems to be hovering over a small town in eastern Wisconsin." -- Military operator at US Space Surveillance Center (Fallen Angel)