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I was telling my friend Kylee about my unfortunate increase in toast consumption when she stopped me in the middle of my carbo-loaded story.

It went something like this:

Me: Oh my God, Kylee, my mom got me a new toaster and I cannot seem to stop myself from eating toast. So much toast! I...

Kylee: Wait. Hee hee. Say that again.

Me: Say what again?

Kylee: The thing about the toast.

Me: What about the toast?

Kylee: HEE!

Me: What? Stop! What?

Kylee: Oh my God, that entire sentence. With the toast.

Me: What about the toast?!

Kylee: HAA! HEE!

Me: Seriously, Kylee.

Kylee: It's just the way you said toast. Oh my God, that just took me back home.

Me: I do not have that bad of an accent.

Kylee: Yeah, normally you don't. But you should hear yourself say "toast." Say toast.

Me:

Kylee: Say toooooaaast!

Me: Piss off.

And really, I don't have that bad of an accent. Kylee is from the exact same small northern Michigan town than I am, too, so it's not like there's a hell of a lot of leeway for her there, anyway.

Though to be honest, I hear that a lot. Things like:

"What did you just call that soda?"

"Hey, where are you from?"

"Aw, your accent is so cute!"

But folks, it could be a LOT worse. Trust me.

I could be a Yooper or something.

So, the next time I say "toast" or something else you find equally funny, just keep in mind that where I'm from, you're the one with the accent. Also, chances are I'm a lot bigger than you.

"Ahh, geez-o-pete, ya soun' like my sisterr." -- The Michigan Accent Pronunciation Guide