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Still not all that far removed from college, the twenty-three year-old is hard pressed to revel in the joys of Real Life. If one actually has a job (somewhat difficult in this economy), one has no choice but to attend�on time�every day. No skipping because you don�t feel like it or because it�s boring; you have to go everyday in spite of those factors. If you�re blessed enough to have a job at the tender age of 23, chances are great that it�s a crap job and you�re on the lowest position of the totem pole. You spend most of your time on the internet checking email and complaining electronically about your life with other 23 year olds in much the same position as yourself in a similar cube farm (or whatever industry equivalent) hoping you don�t get caught. When you�re actually �working,� nine times out of ten you�re either faking it or trying to figure out if you actually know what you�re doing. Chances are strong that you do not.

Most twenty-three year-olds are not in relationships as this is a transitory stage in life, but are starting to feel the pressure from society and family to find a Significant Other. This is a hard thing to do when you�re expected to find a quality person that you can bring home to Mom and Dad and yet the only places people your age seem to gravitate toward are bars. Not exactly an environment rife with stable personalities with whom you have chemistry with when you�re sober. Come to think of it, you�d be hard pressed to find chemistry when you�re inebriated as well. Internet dating is still taboo, and you�re young enough to still think you have chances elsewhere, so you find yourself hanging out in bookstores hoping to drop your backpack or purse on an eligible, intelligent, attractive member of the opposite sex. (Or same. Whatever blows your hair back.) When this doesn�t work, you begin to question your own intelligence, attractiveness and projected eligibility. You start worrying about this on a near constant basis until you reach the point where you either have to sit down for twenty minutes or �settle.� Settling is a last straw move, and also a humiliating one. Especially when the settle-ee turns out to have multiple personalities and apologizes for being attracted to you and in the end you just end up with a complex because someone who apologizes to you for wanting to kiss you totally screws with your head.

The twenty-three year-old also begins to find that their body isn�t quite what it used to be and begins to find previously undiscovered cellulite and hairs sprouting from places where they weren�t growing before. More reluctant of going to the beach now more than ever, the twenty-three year-old will spend an unwarranted hour or more trying to find a suit that�s at least a little bit flattering and praying to God they won�t end up standing up in the sun with a friend�s finger pointed at their backside and saying �I have a stretch mark WHERE?!� The twenty-three year-old will lay on their beach blanket feeling like a beached whale and watching teenagers running by with footballs and Frisbees and thinking to themselves �I wish I had that kind of energy� and then wondering just where the hell that energy went, anyway. Then the twenty-three year-old will realize that they�ve probably left it at the gym when they walked out of it for the last time three years ago.

A majority of twenty-three year-olds, if they�re not a movie star, or the daughter of a former president, will be broke on a near constant basis. When deciding to balance their checkbook after four months of neglect, the twenty three year old will wonder just how more money went out than came in and just when exactly that started. The twenty-three year-old will field calls from Visa and The Bank and become really good at saying things like �what�s that? You�re breaking up.� And important and smart-sounding financial terms like �that was only in the last quarter. I expect to make more in the next fiscal year. I�m not sure how much exactly. What�s that? You�re breaking up.� One will watch their friends go out and spend money they haven�t earned to buy things they don�t need to impress people they don�t like and wish they were irresponsible enough to do the same. Then they�ll realize that perhaps that Chanel suit they bought last week just so they could wear it and walk really slowly in front of the windows of their former place of employment looking very busy and important probably wasn�t the Ideal Responsible Thing To Do.

The twenty-three year-old will then wonder where they went wrong in their past life to not get born into the family of a president and why they dropped out of drama and band because they have so much more charisma than that no-talent assclown who only got lucky because their mother is a senator and they had plastic surgery paid for by the record company.

The twenty-three year-old is much too young to be jaded.

The twenty-three year-old will find themselves getting tired at 10pm and grumbling under their breath at skateboarders and loud middle schoolers and wondering out loud where their parents are. Then they will proclaim to their friends things like �when did I get so old?!� And their friends will say �I think it was April 25th of last year,� and they will want to smack them but it�s too much effort and kind of childish anyway. They will get caught up in politics and find themselves turning from MTV to CNN and leaving it there. The twenty-three year-old will always use their blinker and will be passed by people in the fast lane.

But, the twenty-three year-old will also find numerous occasions to act their shoe-size and will have moments of childish tantrum-ey indulgence when they�ll proclaim things like �Being 23 sucks!�

They�ll turn 24 in a little over a month and wonder if the next year will be any better.

"Peter Gibbons: Our high school guidance counselor used to ask us what you'd do if you had a million dollars and you didn't have to work. And invariably what you'd say was supposed to be your career. So, if you wanted to fix old cars you're supposed to be an auto mechanic.

Samir: So what did you say?

Peter Gibbons: I never had an answer. I guess that's why I'm working at Initech." -- Office Space