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As soon as I posted my last entry about my friend Anna and her sailor, her sailor turned into an absolute asshole, and things went from bad to worse. Suffice it to say, they are no longer dating, and she's moving to the United Kingdom.

I know.

After having one of the most depressing weekends of my life, my life got a little bit worse. I won't go into how or why, but suffice it to say one of my best childhood friends is suffering a lot more than she deserves, and that I have two doctors appointments this week, neither of which I'm looking forward to.

So far, 24 isn't quite panning out the way I'd hoped it would.

On the bright side of things, though, I found out that I'm going to have a nephew as opposed to the niece I was expecting and that's great news. I'm going to be keeping my distance, however, as with my recent Midas touch, he may end up with a name like Humperdink. If he's lucky.

As for the rest of you, I suggest you keep your distance.

"Life was great... until it immediately turned to crap." -- Andy Richter, Andy Richter Controls The Universe