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Breakfast: Toast.

Lunch: Ramen noodles.

Dinner: Macaroni and cheese.

Some days I mix it up:

Breakfast: Toast.

Lunch: Macaroni and cheese.

Dinner: Ramen noodles.

And if I'm feeling really nutty:

Breakfast: Macaroni and cheese.

Lunch: Ramen noodles.

Dinner: Toast.

Some days, I'll throw in an apple or a banana, and if I'm feeling particularly frugally flippant, I'll have some White Cheddar Cheezits.

Now, I know that some of you are jealous. Not everyone can have such a diverse and delicious diet. Particularly macaroni and cheese when you don't have either milk or butter to throw in. It turns into more of a florescent orange paste, but please, I beg you, don't resent me.

I never get sick of it. I covet my cupboard. I look forward to each and every meal and the thought of sitting down at the dining room table (okay, coffee table) doesn't ever make me want to throw up.

But I swear to high and holy heaven that if I don't get to eat a cheeseburger with everything on it (even tomatoes, pickles and mustard, which I hate) in the next grocery buying cycle, the terrorists have already won.

"Judge Smails: I want a hamburger.. no a cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a...

Judge Smails: You'll get nothing, and like it." -- Caddyshack