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The people there (well, the people in CHARGE, anyway) are miserable. So miserable that they feel they must take it out on everyone around them.

But whatever, I'm not going to wallow in that. I'm just going to list off a litany of ways I could hurt my boss that I've been fantisizing about all day.

--Whip the phone around my head like a cowboy until he walks by my desk, whereupon I release and the receiver either cracks him in the skull, or the cord wraps around his neck and strangles him.

--Staple my job description to his forehead.

--Make a rope out of paper clips, attach it to the wall opposite me, and clothesline him as he walks by.

--Take the Diet Coke and glass of ice he wants me to get him while on my half hour lunch break and dump the ice down his pants, the coke down his hard drive, and put his cell phone in the glass and chuck them both out the window. And then maybe punch him in the face.

--Staple my job description to his forehead.

--Hold out the phone, say "it's for you," and then bash the receiver into his teeth.

--Ask the restaurant he's got me ordering his dinner from to grind some REALLY hot peppers into the burger, fry it in peanut oil because I think he's allergic, and replace his Sprite with Pelligrino.

--While moving his car for him from his lush assigned parking space, turn up the radio really, really loud, move all of the mirrors and push the seat right up against the steering wheel. And then maybe put a wad of gum in the ignition.

--Staple my job description to his forehead.

"You won't find many people at their boss's grave who aren't dancing on it." -- Mulder, The X-Files