�

I know losing weight over the holidays is a near impossible feat. (And I don't know why it's not included, but I am officially adding Halloween to the echelon of "The Holidays." No amount of will power can help you avoid the overflowing pumpkins and bowls of candy, and it is this holiday, my friends, when diets the whole world 'round start to go wrong.) No less difficult is the job of maintaining your weight. Not when everywhere you turn are celebrations effused with drink and food and nights and days of meals that "don't count."

Now, I haven't given up completely--I'm still trying to go for my daily walks and runs (though I do admit to not exactly sticking stridently to my regimen of weight-lifting that so helped my cause) but good night y'all, I haven't been able to put a fork or spoon down in the past three weeks. I have managed to put on those Last Five Pounds that were just so difficult to lose.

I�m having that age-old internal war of I should be good every possible day of the week and only cave when the holiday party rolls around and only for that meal, and even then I should still be careful and oh, to sweet fuck-all with ALL OF THIS, I�m going to eat whatever I want and screw exercising and as soon as New Years comes, I�ll start back up again. I�m guessing that I�ll probably decide on something in between those two extremes, but no matter what I do, I�ll be racked with GUILT. The guilt of I Really Shouldn�t Be Eating This coupled with the guilt of Why Can�t I Let Myself Indulge Just a Little, YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE!

None of this is helped by the fact that I am so blissfully happy with Chip that I don�t have my normal fallback override of Stay Skinny Or You Will Never Have a Boyfriend EVER which trumps all guiltfests and yo-yo plans of action. (Okay, with the one exception of the You Will Never Have a Boyfriend ANYWAY So Eat Whatever You Want! Override.)

The good thing about the blissful happiness--the new facet of this annual quandary--is that I now have a partner-in-crime/support sponsor to help with things like saying �no, let�s NOT go to In-N-Out, I heard about this great salad place� and �hey, let�s go for a walk after dinner� and occasionally, �DROP THE BAGEL, WOMAN!� Then again, the thing about partners-in-crime is that they�re often the devil on your shoulder too, and when I�m angelic and when I�ve resigned myself to grilled chicken and wild rice for dinner, sometimes Chip just wants pizza and beer dammit.

I guess the point of this entire entry is just that� I�m in the same boat as everyone else this holiday season. It�s time to dust off the fat pants just in case.