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So last weekend, as Dr. No already reported, my friends Broadway (also from my hometown), and Twelve came into town for a visit. After a rousing night of swing dancing and drinking at The Derby, the next morning we all dragged ourselves out of bed (everyone had a lot more to drink than I did that night, so of course I was the one that woke up sick in the middle of the night--which also may have had to do with the fact that I bought a box of 27 frozen chicken nuggets from 7-11 and ate almost all of them around 3:00am--never ever doing that again). After this massive feat, we decided to head up to The Getty Center to absorb a little culture. (The rest of the day entailed taking Broadway and Twelve to the Hustler store on Sunset Blvd and then playing volleyball in Playa Del Rey with a bunch of Russians, but I won't go into that.) As Dr. No and I were purusing the 3rd Century paintings and trying to figure out how we managed to lose not only Broadway, but also Twelve, I noticed a bust (of the big marble head variety) on display next to the doorway that led to the ancient Roman art that looked remarkably familiar. She had my nose. She also had my mouth. Upon further and closer inspection, I found that she also had quite a bit of my face, too. At that point, a woman approached me, looked at the bust, back at me, then back at the bust. "Wow, she looks just like you," she said. And she did. It was a little bit weird. I turned to look at the plaque to find out who it was supposed to be and how old she was, when I discovered that the bust was called "Bust of the Ideal Female" and was a 1770 Frenchman's version of the perfect woman. You can imagine what that did for my ego. As Dr. No was positioning me for a photo-op, in my head I was singing "I Feel Pretty" quite loudly. The picture doesn't quite capture the similarities that seeing it in person does, and I'm holding my head weird so that it looks like I have a double chin, but even so, the resemblance between me and the Ideal Female is uncanny. (You should also know that I was wearing a flesh-colored pink tank top under my sweater and I was not, in fact, naked under it as the picture may lead you to believe.) "I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone! And all the people are pigs! And I'm the pretty one, but everyone thinks I'm ugly because they're all pigs and they think pigs are pretty!" -- Grace, Will & Grace
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