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And then there's me.

Me: I'm going to die an old maid! I'll be in the scary house at the end of the road. I'll have cats and lawn gnomes and all of the neighborhood children will be afraid of me. I'll be scary Old Lady McBlank, the old maid. I'm an old maid, Dr. No, an OLD MAID!

Dr. No: You're not an old main, you're just a spinster.

Me: ________

Dr. No: No! I was trying to help! Trying to help! I didn't mean it like that!

Me: I'm being called a spinster by a single gay man who's older than me. It must be really bad.

Dr. No: ou know what? I just don't can't figure out what the problem with us is. The hot men of the world would be lucky to have us.

Me: I know, dude.

Dr. No: We're catches. We're catchy!

Me: If we were a song, people would have us in their heads all day.

Dr. No: Look! And we're funny!

Me: SO funny.

Dr. No: People look at us and laugh. We don't even have to say anything, that's how funny we are.

Me: And they don't laugh at how we look, either. Because we're hot.

Dr. No: We're totally hot.

Me: It's a shame.

Dr. No: It's a crime.

Me: It's a criming shame.

Dr. No: It's that, too.

Me: Because we're hot.

Dr. No: If we were a temperature, people standing around us would be sweating.

Me: Um...

Dr. No: Yeah, that one didn't work as well.

Me: Good try, though.

Dr. No: Thanks.

Me: Maybe it's because we've got moxy. A lot of men are afraid of moxy.

Dr. No: It's true. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I'm afriad of myself... With the moxy. It's the moxy that scares me, not the image in the mirror.

Me: Well obviously. Because of the hotness. It's the moxy that scares.

Dr. No: Moxy's one tough broad.

Me: I hate that bitch sometimes.

Dr No:... What were we talking about?

Me: I don't remember.

_________________________________

Me: I wish I had a boyfriend.

Dr. No: Me too