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I am in love with a new Clay Aiken song. Not even the one that�s playing on the radio. What�s more, I went out, and despite the fact that I don�t have a job, I bought his new CD the day it came out. I went to Tower Records on purpose that day. To cover the fact that I was buying it, I grabbed an AC/DC CD and put it on top.

God, I�m totally losing street cred, aren�t I?

I totally am. The girl that was checking me out scanned the AC/DC album and then gave me a look when she scanned Clay. It was one of those head-shakers, too.

I don�t even care. I keep listening to �Perfect Day� over and over and over and it�s awesome and I totally love it, and I don�t care if you don�t like it and think I�m a big dork. I�m probably a lot bigger than you, anyway, and could beat you up.

What else is going on in my life other than Clay?

Well, Blue and I are still dating. We even had the Exclusive Talk the other night, and we both are. Exclusive, I mean. It�s weird.

I mean, how long have I been lamenting about the fact that I�m 24 and don�t have a boyfriend, yada yada yada? And now, I pretty much do, and I�m� weirded out a bit. I mean, we still have a great time every time we go out. We have great conversations that last for hours, and I�m still attracted to him, and he�s made it perfectly clear that he�s attracted to me as well, and� In the back of my mind, I want to run again.

Not into the arms of Clay or anything (though I totally would�have I posted about the Clay Aiken dreams I�ve had?? Mrs. Clay Aiken, people), but that old third date itch I get? Blue and I have been dating for over a month and I want to run. For what reason? I don�t have a good one. Not one. Other than the fact that I�m really, really good at being single and being by myself, and I�m now operating outside my comfort zone. I�m trying to force myself through it and over it, but it�s getting hard.

What the hell IS my problem?

Fear, maybe. Again, I�m not sure.

Maybe this is God�s way of telling me that Clay Aiken (all 100% gay of him) and I are supposed to be together forever.

In any event, once I figure out what�s going on with me, it really will be a Perfect Day.

In the mean time, sing it Clay. I�m waiting for it.