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You want to know a real torture technique? It's calling the same number continuously no matter how many times they immediately hang up on you or put you on hold or even call the goddam telemarketing company and demanding they remove all 950-some extensions from their system right the hell now. Real torture is being a receptionist who's chained to a desk who can't leave or disconnect the phone but has to sit there and say "Good afternoon, Reputable Company" everytime the fucking phone fucking rings. And its fucking ringing every five fucking seconds!

So whoever you are, telemarketing company? With the fucking recording that says "oh, I'm sorry I have the wrong number" and then exactly fifteen seconds later calls with a recording that says "this is Blah Blah Financing and we're really surprised we haven't heard from you" three hundred times in a fucking row? I swear on all that is good and holy that I will hunt you down, wrap this fucking phone cord around your fucking neck and drop you from every balcony in this building until the phone gets ripped out of the wall and I don't have to answer it anymore.

Jeanie: I CAN'T DRIVE WHEN YOU'RE YELLING AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off