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Now, I can be a bit picky when it comes to my burgers, so of course, I had a special order. A simple special order though, not like hold the mayo on one half and only fry the burger on one side. But for some reason, our burger order (no fries, no pop, nothing but two burgers) seemed to be beyond the ken of this particular Carl's Jr. associate.

After pulling up to the ordering thingy (the technical term) and waiting for about two minutes for someone to say something to us, the ordering went a little something like this:

Dr. No: Hi. Okay, can I get two Six Dollar Burgers, with--

Beyond His Ken: You want the Guacamole Six Dollar Burger or the regular Six Dollar Burger?

Dr. No: Um, just the regular one. On one of them we don't want any--

Ken: So you want two or one?

Dr. No: Two. But on one of them, no pickles, no mustard, and then no tomato.

Ken: So two Six Dollar Burgers, on one no pickles, no mustard and on the other, no tomato.

Dr. No: No. One of them is just a regular six dollar burger. On the other one, no pickles, mustard or tomato.

Ken: So three Six Dollar Burgers, on one--

Dr. No: NO! TWO burgers. TWO.

Dr. No: Where the fuck is he getting the third burger?

Ken: Two burgers?

Dr. No: Yes. Two.

Ken: On one of them no onions. On the other no tomato or mustard.

Me: Or pickles. Tell him no pickles!

Dr. No: No!! One. Regular. Six Dollar Burger. With everything. And then one. Six Dollar Burger with no tomatos. No mustard. And no PICKLES.

Ken: What about the onions?

Dr. No: What ABOUT the onions? We love onions! Onions all around! Dammit!

Ken: So one Six Dollar Burger, and one Six Dollar Burger with no mustard, pickles or tomato.

Dr. No: Yes.

Ken: Two Six Dollar Burgers. Your total is $8.44 please pull ahead.

Dr. No: What the fuck was that?!

So anyway, they did finally get them right. And they put TWO 'special' stickers on mine.

"Don't just EAT a hamburger! Eat the HELL out of it!" -- Narrator, Arise, The Sub Genius Video