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I've heard about impending firings and lay-offs, I've had the COO stand right in front of me hashing out what I'm fairly certain are company secrets and worth more than a little in the industrial espionage trade, and also (my personal favorite) been talked about while I'm not only within earshot, but sitting two feet away.

For the last three years, my coworker Carmel has been working here at the front desk between the hours of 8am and 3pm. Rare is the day she works more than six hours. (She's got a sweet deal where she works part time with full benefits.)

In any event, if you do not know this one simple fact, then you shouldn't be opening your big mouth about stuff you are completely ignorant about/have no business in.

So suffice it to say that yesterday evening around 5:20, two people who work on a different floor of our company and don't often visit the reception area came up to see what's going on around here. (Construction. Lots and lots of construction.)

They ignored the postings saying not to walk in certain areas, and then they walked no more than two feet in front of my desk. At which point, there was a "hushed" conversation that went something like this:

2nd Floor Chick #1: Where's Carmel?

2nd Floor Chick #2: [throws a look of curious distain in my direction] I don't know.

2nd Floor Chick #1: She must be new.

2nd Floor Chick #2: Yeah, I've never seen her.

(I've worked here for FOUR MONTHS.)

2nd Floor Chick #1: Think she's a temp?

2nd Floor Chick #2: I don't know. I hope they didn't replace Carmel.

2nd Floor Chick #1: I know. Carmel knows how things around here work.

At which point they walked away.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? Not only was I sitting right freaking there, but if you have no idea who I am, then you obviously rarely or never work with Reception. In which case, A) what the fuck do you care who's transferring calls to you, and B) YOU obviously don't know how things work around here if you don't know that for the past three years, Carmel has left every single fucking day at THREE. I don't know how things work around here? Piss off! I know enough to know that if you don't want your phone calls sent to a fax machine, or your conference room requests shredded, or your FedEx's lost, or your guests waiting fifteen minutes before I even alert you to their presence--I really wouldn't piss me off. That much I do know, Little Miss Second Floor.

Good luck with those directions I gave you, sure hope you don't get lost.