�

Me: So how goes the baking?

Sister: Baking?

Me: The bun?

Sister: You mean the one in my oven?

Me: Unless you�re making muffins or something.

Sister: It�s going well.

Me: Good! Any pregnancy weirdness so far?

Sister: No cravings or sickness or anything if that�s what you mean.

Me: That�s what I mean. Your pregnancy is the litmus test of my children�s future.

Sister: My pH will somehow affect my future nieces and nephews?

Me: It loses something in translation.

Sister: I�ll try not to be so literal.

Me: Appreciated. I�m just saying if yours sucks I�m not doing it.

Sister: Well the only thing I�ve got going so far in this one is boobs.

Me: Boobs?

Sister: Boobs. They�re growing.

Me: Things are looking up for your future nieces and nephews! �Course, it�d be easier to get to that point with the bigger boobs already in place.

Sister: The chicken and the egg and the dating possibilities?

Me: The questions that plague my life.

Sister: Ah. Well, get a push up bra.

Me: Might help. But one of my boobs is bigger than the other one.

Sister: Most women can say that.

Me: I know, but it cramps the style. And the Vicki�s shopping sprees. I�ve got one that�s almost a cup size bigger.

Sister: Me too!

Me: Really? I�ve got a B and a large A.

Sister: Me too!

Me: No way! My left is bigger than my right.

Sister: My right is bigger than my left.

Me: So basically, you�ve got one of mine, and I�ve got one of yours.

Sister: So which is which? Who gets the B set and who gets the large A?

Me: You�re already married. Can I get the B�s?

I was telling my friend Kylee this yesterday when we were at the beach. You may not care, but she hadn�t put on suntan lotion until we got there, and as became painfully apparently today, she did kind of a half-assed job doing so. She had blobs of sunburn all over her body and one rather shapely one on her forehead.

We have a standing girl�s night date on Sunday nights to watch Sex & the City, and as I was sitting there tonight in her apartment as she was standing a few feet away, I noticed something out loud.

Me: You know, I just noticed. With those glasses on, that sunburn on your forehead makes you look like Harry Potter.

Kylee: WHAT?

Me: You�ve got a lightening bolt on your forehead, babe. You look like Harry Potter.

Kylee: Oh, blow it out your ass.

Me: Don�t be so sensitive. It�s only temporary. �Harry.

Kylee: If you�ll excuse me, I�ll be sitting here pouting. Mean.

Me: Aw! Kylee! I�m sorry. If it makes you feel any better, one of my ears is a little bigger than the other one.

Kylee: Like your boobs?

Me: Yeah like my boobs, you big Harry Potter bitch.

Kylee: Heh heh heh. Is the bigger ear on the same side as the bigger boob.

Me: Um, yeah. Oh my gosh. OH MY GOSH! My left ear is bigger! And my left foot is a bit longer! And my left leg is a little longer! The left side of me is bigger than the right side! I never noticed! And I�m sorry I�m shouting!

Yes, ladies and gentleman, the epiphany I had tonight has been with me, literally, all the days of my life and I never noticed. The left side of my body is bigger (possibly more developed?) than the right side. Of course, this brought on a lot of contemplation on the subject. I have a tendency towards right-brained thinking, and knowing that the right side of your brain controls the left side of your body�. Such a can of worms, you guys, you don�t even know.

I�m off the stretch the smaller side of my body hoping it might develop just a little bit more. And maybe make me better at math?

�Why yes Ross. Pressing my third nipple, it opens the delivery entrance to the magical land of Narnia.� � Chandler, Friends