�

We were trying to think of ways of discouraging the poor sap, other than like, scratching inappropriately or checking her pits for freshness�two highly effective ways of saying �get lost� to that special someone, but not terribly socially acceptable to the rest of the general populace. Especially if the guy walks in your social circle or, as in this case, works with you.

As this guy�s particular stall in the cube farm is obnoxiously close to hers, and he can hear pretty much every facet of her business, I casually suggested making fake calls to her �boyfriend� while he was at his desk. However, this idea could cause several problems. Firstly, her phone could ring while she was sweet-talking lover boy, thus not only giving up her game, but also making her look really pathetic. Another possible problem with this tactic, my friend pointed out, is that it may make him like her even more�tempted by the fruit of another and all that. Conversely, he could get really jealous and report her for making personal phone calls and amorous conversation.

She mentioned to me that he also asks her, every Monday without fail, what she did over the weekend--despite the fact that he always does so after hearing her tell at least three other people the exact same thing. After hearing this, I suggested then telling him something completely different. Instead of the �I went home this weekend, hung out with the �rents,� like she told the last three people, saying something like �I went to Canada and hunted moose. Have you ever been to Saskatchewan? It�s beautiful� Cold, though.� Or, �I converted to Catholicism. You?� Or, �I got drunk in Tijuana and lost my virginity. By the way, your mom says hi.� Which not only might give him the message that she is, in fact, not interested, but also might be kind of fun.