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Suffice it to say: I am broke.

As of now, November 5th, I have been employed for roughly eighty-five days of 2003. And currently? Not even getting unemployment.

So, as we approach the holiday shopping season, I look on it with...no small amount of apprehension.

I'm trying to think of creative gift ideas, but I'm running out. In 2001, every member of my family got a small, inexpensive gift, and a poem that I wrote myself. As I'm still catching shit from my brother-in-law for this, I'm going to have to change strategy.

I'm thinking maybe a cool homemade Christmas card with a lotto ticket inside? I mean, a cheap gift, but with the potential to be the best present ever.

My hairdresser suggested learning how to make soap or candles and giving those as gifts. Which is a great idea, seeing as how I certainly have the time to make either one, but I'm not sure if I have the resources.

Maybe I could learn magic and give each person a trick.

Or course, my mother has informed me that all she wants for Christmas is for me to get a job.

Sadly for me, it seems my apptitude for job aquirement is exceeded quite handily by my apptitude for poem-writing, or juggling, or possibly even candle-making. I haven't tried that one yet.

"Read my lips: save the warnings for someone who's not broke!" -- Emery, Rose Red